Meatza (Breadless Pizza)

As I write this I am sitting in a coffee shop, drinking a black coffee, wondering how I went from being a bored, unenergetic, carb monster only last year – to be able to sit here today, full of energy, having ate only a handful of shredded coconut, genuinely excited to share this recipe with you 😀  Also the fact that I’ve just had a dose of caffeine may also have something to do with it – apologies in advance if this reads like the ramblings of a frantic maniac 😂

Pizza was a stable of my diet for a long time.  During my university days Domino’s pizza BOGOF Tuesday’s meant my lunch would consist of one large, stuffed crust Full House pizza and one large Spicy Beef pizza.. Every tuesday.. Without fail.  It also meant Wednesday’s would require the use of more than one roll of toilet paper – but I won’t go into that.. 😅  Eventually I stopped that in favour of Pizza Express’s oven pizzas (which actually taste infinitely better then anything you can get from a fast food chain) which again was a weekly occurrence of two pizza’s (yes – I eat alot!).  Of course this was the healthier option right?  I mean it wasn’t “fasttt food”…. Ah the lies we tell ourselves.

Fast forward to early 2016 and I’m doing one cheat meal a week, which, while I don’t really stick to so much these days I’d still advocate – such strict restrictions on what you can eat make it that little bit harder to make a diet into a lifestyle, plus when those cravings kick it’s nice to know you’ll be able to fulfil them at your cheat meal.  Anyways, so against my better judgement I decide I’m going to go big on this one particular cheat meal and get a large stuffed crust fully loaded pizza, with bbq chicken wings, wedges and nachos.. Oh yeah!  Half an hour later and I feel like I’m going to die – my body was just no longer able to tolerate such an assault on it by all the “food” I’d just crammed into it.  Which prompted me on my journey to search for a low carb pizza alternative..

Now of course there’s cauliflower pizza, which I’ve made many times and while it’s enjoyable (even with the many occasions I had to eat it to with a knife and fork to prevent it crumbling into my lap as I attempted to pick it up) I felt it was more “settling” for a pizza alternative than finding a true alternative.  Then there’s the FatHead pizza which tasted awesome but also I found to be extremely rich if you wanted to eat a whole one – in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not the guy to just have a slice of two 😀

And then I saw this Instagram post by @PaleoChef – “what in the F#$@ is Meatza?!!” is the phrase that came to mind.  Turns out it’s infinitely simple.  Instead of trying to make a faux bread pizza base, make a giant hamburger like base of meat and cover it with your favourite toppings – voila!  Meatza 😀

Now I’m not gonna lie, the great thing about this as well as tasting amazing is that, at least to me, it tastes like it should be unhealthy.  The base has all the feelings of that kind of greasy questionable hamburger you’d get in a fast food joint.  One that should be clogging your arteries, raising your cholesterol, killing puppies with every bite and all the other “facts” we’ve been told for years about the negative impacts fat have on your system.  Except that in this case the beef is actual beef (preferably organic grass fed if you can afford it), the fat is actually healthy, the carbs are ridiculously low for a food that tastes this indulgent and it’s loaded with protein..  So with that being said…. 😀 ….. Enjoy!

Macros per serving: 68.6g protein, 1.43g carbs & 41g fat (total 647 kcal)
1 meatza base
  • 250 g Beef mince (Grass fed/organic if you can)
  • 1 large egg
  • 1/4 Red onion (chopped)
  • 1/2 tsp Oregano
  • 1/2 tsp Ground basil
  • 1/2 tsp Garlic powder
  • Pinch of Parmesan cheese (about 8g)
  • Pinch of Salt (to taste)
  • Pinch of Pepper (to taste)
  1. Preheat your oven to 160C/320F.
  2. Mix all the ingredients together in a large bowl until fully combined.
  3. Roughly shape the mix into a ball with your hands and place on top of an oven tray covered in greaseproof paper (foil will probably work but you'll need to butter or oil it to stop the mixture from sticking).
  4. Using a rolling pin, roll the mixture into a rough circle. (You can make it as thin or thick as you like but I aim for roughly a 1/3 inch thickness 😉 )
  5. Gently pinch the edges inwards to create a pseudo crust, it helps to keep the fillings in later.
  6. Place the tray in the oven & cook for about 10 - 15 minutes or until the Meatza base is starting to brown around the edges.
  7. Take the tray out & use some kitchen towel to soak up any excess fat that is lingering along the top of the meat.
  8. That's it! Now cover the base in your favourite sauce/cheese/toppings, pop it back into the oven and voila! You've just made a Meatza 😀 Enjoy!